I’ve tried my hardest to keep my cool about this. I’ve done everything I can to make it okay and to end things on good terms but I can’t do this anymore. I gave you my trust, I gave you my loyalty, I gave you my body, I gave you feelings that I’ve held on to since I can remember and feelings I thought only existed in fairy tails. You walk into my life, turn it upside down and you’re the one that wants to bail? I don’t know what I ever did to you to make you turn your back to me, I wish I did though. It must have been something really shitty that you can’t even acknowledge me when you see me in public. You know, I never ask for anything. I wrote you a 5 page letter, front and back spilling my guts out to you, saying everything I never had the chance to, every emotion I have in me. I asked for 5 minutes of your time to drop it off, just hand it over and leave and you couldn’t even grant me that. I deserved at least that. I’m kind of glad you didn’t get to see it though. You don’t deserve to see me at my most vulnerable.

I never asked for any of this. I didn’t want anything from this and neither did you, yet you insisted on talking to me, getting to know me, leading me on and letting me go on thinking maybe I had a shot.

For the longest time I refused to believe that I was “just random” for you. I tried my hardest to justify your actions but I guess you’re right, I was random. I never meant anything to you, you made that very clear twice now. I used to think so highly of you, I never thought I could ever have negative feelings towards you and now, well I’m not so sure about that anymore. I do know I’m done crying over this. I’m done being the only one that gets hurt in this. I’m done being a complete WRECK in front of my family, friends, and co-workers. I’m done apologizing for my feelings because of how they make you feel. I’m done giving my all to you. I’m done putting me, my feelings and my happiness in second to you. I’ve let go and forgiven so many things. I’ve taken so much back and for what? Things still didn’t end on good terms despite how badly I wanted that.

I’m not the girl for you, and you are not the guy for me. I know that now. I just wish that someday the same feelings I have/had for you, I could give to someone else who actually wants them.

I don’t really know what else to say. I do know that this is good bye.

I wish nothing but the best for you and I hope you find what you’re looking for.